I've been doing a great deal of thinking lately. It seems that the 7 1/2 years ago when God grabbed a hold of me and let me know that He liked me and wasn't disappointed in me there was more that changed on my insides than I'd realized-and not all of it was good.
At that point I became so focused on giving God the credit and the glory for everything right in my life that I let the 'workhorse' in me die.
Let me explain.
Prior to realizing that God was actually involved and interested in my life I thought that I had to do it all myself. God only worried about me after I died. If I wanted to get anywhere in life it was up to me and me alone. I worked long hours. I punished my body. I studied. I strived. I was successful.
However, once I realized that God was working along side me I wanted to be sure He received all the glory. I never wanted someone from the outside to say "Well, of COURSE you made the best seller list, you worked hard, studied and had a great book."
See, in college I worked and studied long hours and felt I deserved and acolades I received. Of course I did because I'd earned them. During that time I'd beg God to help me remember what I'd studied but that was only after spending more than 16 hrs a week in lectures and more than 20-30 hours a week with my nose in a book studying. I worked hard and asked God to help me remember everything I'd done.
With my writing I felt that somehow my effort would cheapen God's glory. My success would be viewed as having been achieved through my own effort. No one would say "Wow, look what God did in/for/through Tiff."
In January I spent a month praying, fasting and digging deep in to scripture. I asked God for wisdom and favor. I asked God for breakthrough and provision. I asked God for understanding and success.
Over the last few months I've felt gradual, incremental revelations. As if windshield wipers clearing dirt from the glass. The first swipe revealed a murky path ahead so I sprayed on more prayer and Bible reading. That lead me to a few books, a few scriptures and a few messages at church that swished back and forth to wipe off more and more of the haze.
Now I'm beginning to see a clear path ahead of me. While it is exciting it opens up a second set of questions. I know God will reveal each of these in time as well. I simply need to grow where I'm planted with the revelation He's given me.
So as yourself the tough question. Are you using God and His grace as an excuse to do less than your best in ANY area of your life? Are you lazy in your parenting knowing that God will pick up the pieces? Are you lazy in your marriage knowing that you're comfortable with each other? Are you lazy in your call to write knowing you have an excuse in a 'bad economy'?
The Bible tells us to do everything "As unto the Lord". I sometimes fear that the body of Christ doesn't take that as a call to excellence but rather as a call to 'good enough'.
I've issued a challenge on my writing career coach website to set out 3 main goals for this week. Pop over to writing career coach and look at the Friday May 29 and Monday June 1 blogs for more information.